I am "Rishi's Mom".
I will always be his mother, but I will not hear those words ever again.
My baby is gone. Forever.
Every day I wonder, will he come back to me? Is this real? Am I about to wake up? And yet I know the answer to all of it is a No.
Never again, will I hold my baby in my arms. Or tickle him silly. Feed him. Take a bite from him as he feeds me.
He was just 18 months and 6 days old. We had just gone to see his pediatrician for a check up. He said he should be saying 10 words or more and I got concerned.
But, now I will never hear him talk. Ever.
I miss you so much Rishi. I am so sorry I caused this. I guess my punishment is to feel this pain forever and yet it doesn't feel like it is enough. I should be punished more. I should be the one dead. You should be alive.
How could I? How did I let it happen? Questions that even I can't answer.
I try to be strong and yet I feel so hollow inside. That feeling at the pit of my stomach. The same stomach that bore you for nine months. That you slept on so peacefully.
Am sorry, my baby. Am so sorry. I love you so much. So so much.
I will always be his mother, but I will not hear those words ever again.
My baby is gone. Forever.
Every day I wonder, will he come back to me? Is this real? Am I about to wake up? And yet I know the answer to all of it is a No.
Never again, will I hold my baby in my arms. Or tickle him silly. Feed him. Take a bite from him as he feeds me.
He was just 18 months and 6 days old. We had just gone to see his pediatrician for a check up. He said he should be saying 10 words or more and I got concerned.
But, now I will never hear him talk. Ever.
I miss you so much Rishi. I am so sorry I caused this. I guess my punishment is to feel this pain forever and yet it doesn't feel like it is enough. I should be punished more. I should be the one dead. You should be alive.
How could I? How did I let it happen? Questions that even I can't answer.
I try to be strong and yet I feel so hollow inside. That feeling at the pit of my stomach. The same stomach that bore you for nine months. That you slept on so peacefully.
Am sorry, my baby. Am so sorry. I love you so much. So so much.
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